忍受快樂

During the Zhenguan reign(627-649) of the Tan Dynasty there was a mill situated in the west of Chang’an, the capital of China, whose owner had a horse and a donkey, the former doing conveyance and the latter turning the millstone. On the third year of Zhenguan the horse was chosen by Xuan Zong or Monk Sanzang(tripitaka) for his journey through the western Region (now Xinjian in northwest China and parts of Central Asia)to

India to fetch the Buddhist Scripture.

17years later, it was on the back of this horse that the Buddhist manuscripts came to

China. When the horse met with the donkey and talked about his experiences all the way back, the latter sighed with admiration, “ You’re really rich in experience. How far you have traversed! It’s hardly imaginable for me!” However, the horse said, “In fact, turning the millstone you’ve covered the same distance as I did. What makes a difference is that when you stayed all the time at the same spot, I accompanied Master Xuan Zang to a faraway destination and found a broad new world.”

Among all mortal beings , why people of a kind or similar qualities become poles apart in terms of achievement? The story of the horse and donkey is a case in point: when the former goes westward for a long expedition, the latter never gets away from the mill.

When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expressed its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune to song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else. When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child’s song to him or her.

Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child’s song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the village hears his or her song. Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person’s bed, just as they did at his or her birth, and they sing the person to the next life.

In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around him or her. They sing his or her song him or her. The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity.

When you remember your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another. A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.

Most of us have not grown up in an African tribe that sings our song to us at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding us when we are in tune with ourselves and when we are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn’t. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well. You may feel a little warble at moment, but so have all the great singers. So remember, just keep singing and you’ll find your way home.

當爸是件無人能替代的活兒。

如果為人父母有職務簡述的話，我的“職務簡述”將會包括如下內容：管理賬單和孩子們的玩耍同伴、洗衣、做飯、洗衣、安排與人合夥用車，洗衣、準備小吃、安排短途旅遊、購物、洗衣。

我先生的“職務簡述”是在上端用紅色寫出的兩個大字—“樂子”。盡其所能為他們提供所需，我們的孩子們更多的時候還是把他作攀緣遊戲架、大傻瓜和小醜的三合一。

我們倆為人父母的風格是互補的。他的風格是持續不斷的探險，在這過程中，沒有人需要操心孩子是不是洗手了，是不是吃蔬菜了，或者會不會長蛀牙。我的風格則類似墨索裏尼的執政風格。我太忙了，為這操心，為那操心，哪裏顧得上找什麽樂子。再者，每次我試圖逗孩子們開心，我總是被我先生比下去。

我給孩子們買來泡泡糖香味的牙膏，教他們如何用牙刷轉圈兒刷牙以免長蛀牙。他們認為那樣刷挺好玩，直到有一天我先生教他們如何漱口—從兩顆門牙間把水噴出來。他們發現這才叫好玩。

我帶孩子們到小樹林裏去散步，兩個小時後，我好不容易才逮住一個遲鈍的瓢蟲放進我兒子的蟲籠裏。在他們眼裏我是夠“酷”的，直到他們的父親回家，在後院裏只花了兩分鍾，便捕獲了一只有奇瓦瓦小狗那麽大的甲蟲！

我勸慰自己我是個好媽媽，盡

管我先生能做的事情我做不了。我可以確保我的孩子們是安全的、暖和的、幹幹爽爽的。我可以排隊5個小時，讓孩子們在大商場裏看到聖誕老人—或者第一個排隊讓孩子們看最新的迪斯尼影片。但是我不會給錄影機接上電線，好讓孩子們看他們喜歡的錄像。

當孩子玩累時，我可以把他們抱到床上，親吻他們，送他們進入夢鄉。但是我無法讓他們頭沖下，那樣他們可以腳踏天花板漫步；或者把他們扛在我的肩膀上，讓他們看飛蛾如何在燈具裏飛舞。

我可以帶他們去看醫生，參加童子軍集會，或者帶他們去參觀水族館，但是我永遠也不會進入荒郊野地，在魚鉤上挂個蟲餌，釣上一條魚，然後把魚用錫紙包起來在明火上烤著吃。

我甚至可以出席每一場少年棒球聯合會的比賽，坐在第一排呐喊助威，直到我的嗓子喊疼了，我的扁桃體發炎了，但是我永遠無法教我的兒子如何打一個本壘打或者如何巧妙進入一壘的位置。

作為一個母親，我可以為我的孩子們做許多事情，但是不管我怎樣努力—我永遠成為不了他們的父親。

Modus Operandi is Latin for saying “Mode Of Operation”. Modi Operandi (plural meaning “Modes of Operation”) was a way that law officers would use to establish certain habits or characteristics that would define a criminal’s behavior. Observers of any kind can use someone’s MO as a manner to see how they function, and actions they take.

Office Operandi is my attempt to plot out the top 10 pitfalls or bad habits people make when selecting, buying, and organizing their office furniture for new home office. I will also explain why it’s a pitfall, which in turn will present a clear and simple solution for a Top 10 List, so listen up.
1- Office Budget: It may sound like a no-brainer, but I still have to mention it - with any project for the home or office, write out a budget. By establishing a rough estimate of what you have to spend it will establish guidelines for the project, in this case an office for the home.
2- Office Space: Map out and measure the space you have for your office. The space you have will influence what you buy. People many times will buy a desk or a chair that does not fit right in the space of the room. Always measure the room before anything. It gives you an idea what you can get and how much breathing room you need to work comfortably.
3- Office Essentials: Make a list of the things you really need in your office. Keep in mind at the core an office is a place to work and be creative or just simply buckle down. Fancy paperweights or other attractions that snag your attention are not essentials.
4 - Buy Smart: When buying your office furniture, please keep in mind that you don’t need the most expensive nor do you need the cheapest. Look for furniture that is built to last, by going with a trusted name. Stay away from dumping your budget into a $1200 office chair if you only have a $1500 budget. Remember to buy smart.
5 - Compare and Contrast: When you find the brand you want of a particular piece of office furniture – shop around. You would be surprised the varying degrees you can find the same item in a different place. Don’t buy in a rush or on impulses. If you are buying online check return policies and for things like free shipping. Don’t settle on the first thing you see when it comes to price but instead take a little more time to research it. In 5 minutes you may save $30 on the same office chair – It’s worth the double check for any product, especially online.
6 - Office Design: Buy furniture that is consistent. Having an office that looks the part goes a long way when you’re in it. If it looks professional, you feel professional. Always keep that in mind. It’s a common mistake to mismatch here and there the end result is just that, a mismatched feeling for a place to get to work.
7 - Office Accents: This is the where you can place the left over money from your budget, and the most enjoyable part of building a home office. Weird lamps, interesting paperweights, hologram clock, or retro radio – anything that’s not a necessity but down right cool. Here is where you can go crazy to give it your personal touch.
8 - Do a Double Take: After you have all your pieces of furniture – Don’t open a thing! Measure the room again quickly and double check the items you purchased. It’s a common mistake people make when they open up office chair or a desk to find it’s the wrong item or they measured wrong. Sometimes the retailer may have made a mistake as well it does not hurt to quickly go over things. It will not be fun to have a shredded box and put together office desk to realize you have one that’s 5 inches wider and won’t fit. Always, always, always take a recap.
9 - Putting it together: Two heads are better than one. If you have another person to help you assemble, then ask for their help. Lining up a desk and putting it together can be done with one person, but a lot of times less handy people end up with a desk that slightly rocks, or draws that don’t close all the way. Its better to have someone holding on to whatever is being pieced together. It will also pay off if you get lost on the instructions. There is nothing bad about having a helper, especially when lugging a desk around.
10 - The Home Office: Now that everything is done make sure you use it. The last step seems like common sense, but most home offices collect junk and paperwork but never see any real use. Enjoy the hard work you put into piecing together your home office. Enjoy!